


Our Era.

by weallfalldowneventually



Category: CrankGameplays - Fandom, Video Blogging RPF, markiplier - Fandom
Genre: Cancer, M/M, Not Beta Read, We Die Like Men, i made myself really sad, i promise but also, it's kinda cute!!, like damn i really got emotional huh, lot's of tw though!! tw: death!, physician assisted death, specifically pancreatic cancer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:34:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23277160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weallfalldowneventually/pseuds/weallfalldowneventually
Summary: Mark hums, just letting himself take in this moment, the warmth radiating off of the man he's still so desperately in love with. He let's out an exhale, heart thrumming with overflowing love.
Relationships: Mark Fischbach/Ethan Nestor
Comments: 12
Kudos: 85





	Our Era.

**Author's Note:**

> tw: death! cancer; specifically pancreatic cancer. physician assisted death. i know physician assisted death is a hard topic to talk about and it's pretty controversial, but it's something i believe in. i one million percent respect your opinion on this regardless if you agree with me or not, i just ask you respect mine as well. please, please feel free to skip this work if you're uncomfortable with anything i listed. i won't be upset or offended, i just want what's best for you guys. that said, if you do skip it, just know i have happier works coming soon!! i love you guys, honestly you're all the best. thank you so much for reading and commenting on my stuff, it really means the world. 
> 
> also, p.s PLEASE listen to the cover of Yesterday by Epic Orchestra while reading this
> 
> i may or may not be addicted to that song

They're sat on the edge of their bed, pressed tightly against one another. Almost no space is between them as Ethan's hand turns another page, the slight tremor evident in the movement. It's grown a tad worse with age, but neither of them say anything as Mark tightens his grip around Ethan's waist. 

They've both lived such wonderful lives, something neither of them take for granted. It's all made much clearer as they flip through their wedding album, both lost in thought as they look at their smiling, younger selves. 

It's hard for either of them to believe they've been married for 44 years now. Their 45th anniversary coming up in only a matter of months. Mark brings his free hand down to trace the edge of the page, calloused fingers running over the smooth lamentation. 

It's still hard for him to imagine that he won't get to see their next anniversary. 

Ethan seems to sense his shift in demeanor, he brings his head down to rest softly against Mark's chest, his fingers finding Mark's. He laces them together, letting their joined hands cover the picture for just a moment. 

Ethan sighs, fondness and exasperation blended beautifully together, as he stares down at their smiling faces. Ethan dressed head to toe in a black suit, Mark mirroring him in his all white suit.

"I still can't believe you insisted on wearing our Unus Annus suits to our wedding," Mark doesn't need to look at him to know he's smiling. 

He angles his neck just enough to kiss the top of Ethan's head, leaving his lips pressed their as he speaks, something of a playful whisper rolling off of his tongue, "We looked damn good."

"Never said we didn't," Ethan snorts, eyes rolling, "I just think it was kinda hilarious." 

Mark hums, just letting himself take in this moment, the warmth radiating off of the man he's still so desperately in love with. He let's out an exhale, heart thrumming with overflowing love.

"Well, I think it was fitting. Unus Annus really was _our_ Era."

Ethan pretends to gag, making a retching noise as Mark speaks over him, squeezing him tightly. "That was the year I asked you out. It's crazy to think that year was our starting point."

He takes a moment to really let that sink in. Ethan seems to be doing the same, his theatrics having settled down. Now, _t_ _hat_ was 47 years ago. How time seems to fly he thinks. They had just started dating right as Mark turned 31, Ethan following quickly turning 24 just a few months later. 

Mark can only remember fondly how they seemed to stumble around one another for quite some time, before finally Mark made the first move. 

Ethan breaks him out of his train of thought as he twists his body enough to look up at Mark, "Look at how far we've come." 

Mark feels the telltale signs of his emotions getting ready to spill from his eyes, so he does what he does best.

"Yeah, _all thanks to me!_ " He gets out, it's a little rushed sounding, a little too emotional, but it does the trick all the same. Ethan's own glossy eyes crinkling at the edges as he grins.

Ethan slaps delicately at Mark's chest, "Aye, classic Mark. Even after all these years you're still just as egotistical as ever." 

Mark feels breathless as he looks at Ethan, even after all these years together he still manages to take his breath away. He doesn't understand how one human being could be so beautiful and so kind. 

He doesn't understand how he got so lucky as to share his life with him. 

He brings their hands up to his face, kissing Ethan's knuckles softly, before he answers. 

"I made all the first moves," he can't suppress the laugh that falls out of his mouth at Ethan's scandalized look.

"That's not true!" 

"Name one time you took initiative." Mark challenges him, letting his thumb run over the place his lips just were. 

Before Ethan even has a chance to answer Mark cheekily starts to list things off, "I asked you out, I took the lead in the bedroom," Mark waggles his eyebrows at that, enjoying the slight blush rising on Ethan's cheeks. 

"I asked you to move in with me, I proposed." He sighs, shaking his head, before lowering it to hide his grin. "Oh, the things we do for love. Must I always carry all the burden?" 

"Oh, now I'm a burden?" There's no malice behind the words, in fact, a quiet chuckle tries to creep it's way out before it gets tampered down. 

It's Mark's turn to look scandalized, eyes widening in mock horror. "I didn't say that! Don't you _dare_ put words in my mouth." 

They stare at one another, both looking as serious as can be before they both burst into laughter. They lean into one another as they laugh themselves breathless. Sides aching once they come up for air. 

Mark watches Ethan wipe at his eyes, still giggling in between labored breaths. He can't control the sudden urge to lean in and kiss him. Ethan's still a giggly mess and Mark can't keep his smile at bay, so the kiss isn't really that much of a kiss. 

But it leaves him feeling light and loved all the same. He pulls back, but just enough to rest his forehead against Ethan's. He takes a moment just to rest there, eyes closed, sharing breath with the man he loves more than life itself. 

There's an ache, deep in his chest, something gnawing painfully at his heart. A guilt nestled deep behind his ribcage. Suddenly, there's a warm hand cupping his cheek, pulling him out of his dark thoughts. 

"Hey, stay here with me, just a little while longer, yeah?"

"Yeah," he whispers, Ethan's voice a bright light fighting off the darkness within his mind. 

He's always been a light in Mark's life, before when they were friends and after when they had entwined themselves as lovers. He's always been there. Never backing down without a fight. Mark doesn't know what he would have done without him.

The cancer diagnosis came as a surprise. He had taken care of himself, he ate right, kept himself as in shape as he could. He did everything he could to live a long, happy, and healthy life. 

When he was diagnosed with stage four pancreatic cancer he felt himself spiral, but he was nothing but determined to beat this damn thing. He was only 78, he still had so many more years he wanted to spend with Ethan. 

He fought, round after round of chemo flooded his system, but it seemed to do nothing. He was in so much pain, day and night, and Ethan saw that. He did everything he could to try and alleviate Mark's pain, but there was nothing he could do. 

Everything started taking a toll on his body and mind, he no longer felt like himself, and that frightened him. He didn't want to continue his life that way, being a husk of the man he used to be. Especially not in his final hours. 

A few conversations and a waterfall of tears later, Mark had broken the news to Ethan. He had decided he was going to stop his treatments and had begun looking into physican assisted death. 

He wanted to die on his terms, with his dignity still intact. 

Ethan had joked through his tears that, that was a very Mark thing to do. Mark had sat there, wiping frantically at Ethan's tear stricken face as Ethan did the same to his. Both laughing through the fear and pain, leaning on one another for support.

God. 

He really doesn't understand how he got so lucky. The man sat in front of him being way more than he deserved.

His eyes feel heavy as he stares at Ethan, a lovesick look settled comfortably on his features. He hopes Ethan sees it, sees how much love Mark has for him.

How much love Mark will _always_ have for him.

" **I** **think it's time for bed,** " he whispers, voice a little shaky as reality starts to settle back in. He can see the moment it clicks in Ethan's mind, his eyes immediately filling with unshed tears. Ethan can do nothing more than nod as he leans back, giving Mark enough space to get up.

He shuffles over carefully to his prepared drink, closing his eyes as he brings the bitter liquid to his lips. He downs it in one go, heaving at the taste. He tilts his head back, shaking his head, almost as if he could shake the taste from his tongue. 

When he turns he sees Ethan resting comfortably on their bed. His arms outstretched and waiting. All thoughts seem to cease, if only for a moment, as he slips into Ethan's waiting arms. 

Just outside in the living room sits his brother and the physician assigned to him, but none of that matters. Not when he's nestled so perfectly against Ethan. 

A moment of panic fills him, not out of regret but simply out of fear of the unknown, "Promise me you won't leave my side." He looks up at Ethan, eyes feeling heavier by the second. He watches the way a single tear makes a home on Ethan's left cheek, before he quickly smiles and nods. 

"I'll be right here when you wake up." He let's his watery eyes roll playfully, "Just like I am every morning."

Mark laughs, short and breathless, "You better be." 

He takes a stuttering breath, lungs catching on his exhale, "I love you."

Ethan's body shakes with his silent sobs, before he shifts, moving to have better access to Mark's hair. "I love you too, now relax, I'll be right here."

Mark nods, eyes closing, Ethan's warmth and skilled fingers scratching along his scalp lulling him into sleep. 

**Author's Note:**

> as always i absolutely adore them AND their girlfriend. 
> 
> who am i kidding i love their girlfriends more than them. 
> 
> also, the bolded words is also kinda what prompted me to write this!!
> 
> again, thank you for reading and leaving kudos and comments, it truly does mean the world to me. happier things are on the way, i just felt particularly angsty lately. love to all


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